"Straight up now tell me do you wanna love me forever?" .. um well.. Paula honey.. forever's a long time and uh...
Now Austin will tell you that he is one of those people who is secretly fascinated by Paula Abdul -- is she or isn't she on drugs? -- if so, what? -- did her doctor give her the wrong meds? -- did he give her the right ones and she doesn't take them? -- etcetera etcetera --
I however, am a little, well.. over it. I mean a handful of has-beens are recycled every year in the form of guest spots, talk shows, book deals, hosting gigs, etcetera -- and although it's always a treat, there comes a point when you remember why you allowed them to fall off the planet in the first place.
That time has come. and gone.
Don't get me wrong, I love her brand of crazy. In fact it's one of favorites. But it's just too sporatic for me. It's not outrageous enough. I need her to OWN her crazy. I need her to see the money pool of fandom that is interested in watching her be a lunatic and just swan dive right into it. In other words, she's gonna have to check out of the crazyland motel and buy some real estate there or I'm out.
Crystal Bowersox tweeted a pic of her once meth-head teeth lookin' Colgate commercial ready this morning. Awesome! Now I can watch you sing instead of thinkin' about how you smuggled your crackpipe onto the plane...
Last nights Idol was for me ironically hysterical.
Lemme tell ya why...
For those of you who don't know, everyday from 5:30 to 8:00 on TBS you can watch re-runs of Seinfeld, Friends and The Office non-stop for those two and half hours. Basically it's a buffer for those of us self-proclaimed boob-tubers who can't get enough of witty sitcom banter and who need a bridge from afternoon talk shows into late night prime time. Although this is the time when it is reasonable to begin having a real life before returning to the sofa for a nights worth of Tivo, I admittedly rarely miss watching at least one episode in this time slot. Last night I was able to fit in one episode of Friends and two episodes of Seinfeld before stopping to watch Idol.
The one Friends I did catch was indeed a classic, it was Season 7's "The One with Joey's Award".. For those of you who love Friends as much as I do, you know that this is the episode where Joey is nominated for the not-so-holy-grail of the soap opera awards, a "Soapie." Although he is convinced he will win, Rachel encourages him to practice his "gracious loser" face just in case he doesn't and the cameras are on him. We all know this face well. The oh-it-wasn't-me-but-that's-okay-because-it's-you face usually accompanied by a little clap and if you're really feeling it a standing ovation.
And in keeping with sitcom rules, he in fact doesn't win, so we, the viewers, can bask in the comedy glory of what happens when he forgets to use his gracious loser face and curses into the camera raising his fists before realizing and correcting himself.
Well... I don't know if they have TBS on in the green room at FOX, but someone musta told Lilly Scott to start practicing her "humble winner" face, which is very similar to the "gracious loser" face, but has a few extra elements including but not limited to gasps, tears, hugs, and the every popular, mouthing "Thank You" to the camera.
But most importantly consists of layin' on a really thick coat of I-don't-think-it's-gonna-be-me, and boy does she bring out the big guns. She worked the doe-eyes, lip biting, and forehead scrunching, for all they were worth...
Let's just say that this chick really thought she had this in the bag.
As did we all honestly.. I mean just the other day I was sayin' she was in my top picks, but I guess America wasn't buyin' what she was sellin' because she got the boot. The news came as she stood side-by-side with 16-year-old Katie Stevens, who is adorable and vocally strong, but in my opinion and apparently in Lilly's seemed like the easier choice for dismissal last night.
But it didn't happen that way... And boy is Lilly surprised... watch for around the 1:50 mark.. her face is priceless... You can actually see her mouth WTF...
NOTE: Check out Todrick Hall too, in two commerical breaks he's gone from humbled by the opportunity, to pissed the hell off, LOL.
I normally don't like to comment on my picks for any given Idol season until we have a set top twelve. This is in part because from year to year it's always hard to know what the voting audience is going to do. Sometimes it seems that the voting truly does speak for all of us and other times it leaves you scratching your head (i.e. Chris Daughtry) ....So I try to withhold my thoughts until I can get a feel for what I think can realistically be the outcome. BUT... this season is a little different, in that for some reason the judges I feel have been sort of off their game. A great deal of talent graced the stage, but a large group of potential winners were sent home during Hollywood week and more than a handful of duds were given to us to choose from... So this season, I feel, can be narrowed down pretty easily early on...
By all impressions at this point I feel pretty confident to say that this is a girl's year. With that said, here's my picks...
In Order...
1. Didi Benami: I LOVE her voice and she's been my girl pick from her first audition. Vocally she is to me the female equivalent of Andrew Garcia, who I think could essentially be the dark horse in this whole thing and has a special spin on the sound I love.
2. Crystal Bowersox: Loved her doin' some Tracy Chapman and although she has been a frontrunner and a judges fave (which normally annoys me to no end) I think she has a lot of potential and possesses the wowing performance quality that can carry her into the final rounds.
3. Lilly Scott: She's got a different kinda thing goin' on and is super talented.. Always make me excited to see what she's gonna do each week and that my friends is the master key of stardom.
However, if the guys pull one outta the hat and take the gold this year it'll be either:
1. Andrew Garcia: Aforementioned my FAVORITE of the whole show and my pick to win it all from the very beginning.
or
2. Casey James: He's got all the goods; good voice, good body, good hair, good guitar playin', good smile, and great eyes... He's a hunk and let's face it, that could take him pretty far.
Umm ya.. so as TMZ reported the other day, apparently Simon got a little nipple happy..
Ooh say that three times fast.. little nipple happy -- little nipple happy -- little nipple happy... that's a tricky one...
Anyhow, during the final performance on American Idol Wednesday night, in what I have to assume was a subconscious moment, Mr. Cowell spends a full forty seconds playing with Mr. Righty... it's a pretty funny clip and the freudian in me can't help but wonder if it has something to do with Kara is talking about a relationship with her ex-boyfriend during said touch-fest... I mean I know he's supposedly engaged to his make-up artist but have you seen the two of them this season... jeezuss get a room... And someone needs to tell him that even though it's his last season, he needs to at least pretend to be interested in what's happening...
P.S. Simon's reported fiancee's name is Mezhgan (pronounced Bi-Otch)
