Pretty Wild... More Like Pretty Stupid

Reality shows make up the bulk of my normal programming. It's a disease, I know, but alas there is no treatment. Although in an effort to tame my addiction I put a cap on the number of shows I tune into regularly, as it had gotten somewhat out of hand and in doing so it has become virtually impossible for me to include anymore VH1, E! and/or MTV bases series' into my weekly line-up. It's a sad truth, but even sadder is that I cannot control what media is filtered into the programming I do watch.

Therefore I find myself at a precipice. My attention is a fickle thing and if I'm say watching an episode of my regularly scheduled 20/20 and they are doing an expose on Hollywood's now infamous "Burglar Bunch" and they just happen to say.. mention that one of the members of said "Burglar Bunch" has a reality show called "Pretty Wild" that's about to premiere that was being filmed during the real heat of the whole saga... Far be it from me to not at least check out the first episode for further details... I'm just sayin'...

So I set the ole DVR for Sunday's nights episode. But as I said before I got a lotta shows I'm tuning in for right now (Desperate Housewives anyone?) and needless to say it got TiVo peoples-choiced into oblivion... So I had to fish for the re-run which happened to air after last nights Idol and well... If E! reality show fever is a sickness... I think I may be cured.

I literally felt like I was watching a horror movie. I kept flinching, covering my eyes, my ears. Pausing and saying things like "did she really just say that" and "some people should really be neutered."

Yes, it was THAT bad.

I thought I had seen airheads before... I mean if you've watched more than one episode of The Hills, you've basically been exposed to the naive of the naive.. But these girls are like seriously on the verge of needing special classes.

I could explain some of the scenarios that led to this conclusion or I could be really mean and tell you to go watch it, but I won't do any of that. I think the show speaks so highly of itself that I'll let it do just that... Here are a few quotes from Sunday nights premiere episode... you tell me...

"I had them all evaluated and they were told that they had ADHD. So every morning I give the girls Adderall." -The Ex-Playmate Mom, as she gets the bottle from the cabinet and passes them out like candy.

"I home school the girls four days a week. I'm basing all the curriculum on the movie "The Secret" - The Mom (She is serious.. CPS whaaatt?)

"It says in the song.. sliding down from heaven on stripper a pole... And I was like, that's totally me!" - Alexis Neiers talking about how she wants to be in her friends music video.



You can't make this shizz up...